Daily Archives: January 1, 2019

More From Quora.com

Please read the other posts on QUORA.com and click to upvote if you support the writings you read, including those of other writers in the QUORA community. Thanks!

I posted the following on Saturday, December 29, 2018, and received the most upvotes (22 to date) and 1.8k views.

Read the original post at Quora  https://www.quora.com/How-does-serving-time-in-federal-prison-compare-to-state-prison

How did you feel when you found out you were going to prison?

On August 18, 1988, after my arrest, I knew I was going to prison and planned to avoid that by escaping, and if that didn’t work and I was killed during the attempt, then suicide by cop would be okay. I felt miserable and hated life. I felt an exaggerated sense of hopelessness, despair, disappointment, all associated with the intense hate and anger that scorched my soul.

Today, I’m glad things didn’t work according to my plans and that I changed my thinking and my life.

At thirty-one years old, I didn’t have hope of ever seeing another day as a free man. Months later, I sat inside a jail cell with a man facing the death penalty (I was disruptive and creating havoc in the jail, so the jailers put me in the cell block with the killers).

Once inside that jail cell, I continued to look for an opportunity to escape. To get away I would have done whatever it took. The thought of spending the rest of my days inside a box made me want to get it over with, to spare myself the agony of a miserable existence.

Suicide seemed the solution: For a Samurai Warrior, wasn’t that the honorable way out, death before dishonor?

That’s how I felt, alone, angry, desperate, disappointed, and in fear on spending the rest of my life in prison, with no hope of getting out, unless I escaped.

I changed my mind about committing suicide because I didn’t want to put my family through having to deal with me dying that way.

Today, as a man who walked out the prison doors, even though it was thirty-years later, I am glad I changed my mind about suicide, escape, and all other aspects of my self-destructive mindset and associated behaviors.

Quora.com Blog Posting

In recent weeks Wayne T. Dowdy focused on building a fan base on QUORA.com.

[Updated: January 15, 2019]  The following post comes in response to the QUORA question, “How does serving time in federal prison compare to state prison?” which has received almost 15,000 views  since its posting on December 26, 2018:

When I first began my sentence, an old-timer said, “The states control you physically he following and the feds do it psychologically.”

I found that true. The feds use incentive-mechanisms to control its prisoners (gives prisoners something to lose, recreation privileges, more freedom of movement, better living conditions; something authorities take or restrict access to for misbehavior).

The typical prisoner mentality in the federal system is milder, less violent than many state prisoners. Again, an old-timer gave me a few words of wisdom:

“The federal system lulls people to sleep because it’s more laid-back, and there’s not as much violence every day, so guys forget where they’re at because they get away with so much. And then when one of them does something stupid to the wrong person, he gets stabbed or killed.”

I behaved better in the federal system than when I served time in the State of Georgia, where violence dominates every day activities.

My published writings show the difference between the young knucklehead I was while serving time in Georgia where I didn’t have much to lose, in comparison to the responsible man I become, due in part to the aging process and having programs available to help me change. Read The Price of Change by Wayne T. Dowdy, Midnight Express Books, for an example of the differences in my behaviors in the State versus the Federal system.

Being paid for working in the Federal Prison Industries (UNICOR) made a significant difference because it allowed me to take care of myself, rather than to burden my family for support, and that made me feel better as a human being.

The difference in my behavior illustrates the effectiveness of incentive programs, as well as the difference in the life of a prisoner serving time in a federal or state system; however, prisoner experiences vary.